There are quite a few games that are released each month. A huge percentage of those games will never know what it feels like inside any of my consoles. They’ll never experience the clunky tray of my Xbox 360 or the magical slide in of the PS3. They’ll never have me waiving wildly at them with my Wii-mote. The simple fact is that my systems only exist for the super elite titles. You see, I don’t have time for the mediocre or niche. I don’t have time to take a chance on a little known import from Japan. I spend the small amount of gaming time I have on the ones that others have defined as: the best of the best. Hopefully this will change some day, but that day’s not today.
My limited gaming time, however, doesn’t keep me from forming opinions on the games that are released each week. And now I’ve created a vessel to share my unsubstantiated take on the monthly releases with you. You’re welcome.
At the beginning of each month I’m going to give you the “Rundown” of what’s coming to the three major consoles. I’ll supply you with the simple facts for each — which are easily found on any retailer’s site — as well as uninformed opinions from me and the other BattlePlay contributors. The article will then wrap with my recommendation for where to spend your money that month, which in most cases will be based on nothing more than my highly developed gaming instincts.
With that said, let’s get on with it. First up…
Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $59.99
My Take: My interest in football games fizzled out about 5 years ago. There’s a little spark for the experience in me this year, but not for this one.
Steve’s Take: I haven’t checked out what new features EA has added to the franchise for 2012. I honestly don’t know what they even *could* add at this point. Maybe a cheerleader uniform design feature would be good. Are you reading this EA?
Kevin’s Take: I just don’t understand why games like this get to generate so much money if the changes are mainly statistics. Don’t listen to me I suppose, I hate sports and sports games alike.
Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $34.99
Steve’s Take: I have no clue what this one’s about…and I have kids too. I asked them! Seriously! “Have you heard of this?” Response: “Nope”.
My Take: There’s a sense of insecurity when the title of a video game has an exclamation point. “Blast” just wasn’t enough to express how exciting the publisher hopes you’ll think this game is when you discover it at the bottom of a bargain bin in three months.
Systems: X360, PS3, Wii
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $49.99
Kevin’s Take: (and Captain America: Super Soldier too) Since these are based on movies, these will be horrible. They should pass them out for skeet shooting instead of clay pigeons.
Steve’s Take: I tried an HP game once…Harry Potter Quidditch World Cup for Xbox. Let’s just say it’s somewhere in the room of requirement.
Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $39.99
Charles’s Take: Saw a quick segment watching E3 coverage on TV. This *does not* turn you into an ultimate fighter. It’s a bunch of exercises modeled after the way UFC fighters train – but with no resistance. You punch and kick the air. IMHO you’d be better off getting a good rigorous workout video, or if you really want to workout with the XBOX 360, get Dance Central instead.
My Take: This game has peeked my interest. Not for the Wii though, definitely not. And, I don’t own Kinect or Move, so I guess I’m going to pass…
Steve’s Take: A very tough workout in a sports genre I am bored stiff by….NEXT!
Systems: X360, PS3, Wii
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $49.99 (Wii: $39.99)
My Take: Captain America looks to extend the long standing tradition of shitty movie based games. Good luck on living up to such lofty expectations, Captain.
Steve’s Take: My method of buying superhero based games is to wait until someone I explicitly trusts tells me it’s worth it. That often means me buying the titles over a year after release. It’s OK, I will wait that long to save myself from bitter disappointment.
Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $59.99
Kevin’s Take: I have never heard of this game, I looked it up and apparently this is the third version of the game. Someone missed the mark on marketing or this game is horrible.
Steve’s and My Takes: Yeah… what Kevin said.
Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $29.99
My Take: Wow. Freaking smurf, Ubisoft… Freaking smurf.
Charles’s Take: Please do not encourage Ubisoft to make more games like this.
Steve’s Take: Hmmm….this really scares me…
Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $29.99
My Take: Meh. Just a a reskin of Ubisoft’s soon to be classic, Smurfs Dance Party…
Steve’s Take: Just Dance was a good title. My daughter and her friends can really work it. After they are done burning up the place they make me dance to “Crazy in Love” and laugh their heads off. So, given the overall family enjoyment this could be a contender for shelf space.
Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/26/2011
Price: $59.99
Steve’s Take: This game looks really provocative, and I mean that in a sincere way. The main problem I have is how to duck my wife while playing it…and the possible consequences of her walking in while Catherine or Katherine is in a compromising position. Cost/benefit analysis results: At the cost of my life I’d say I have to pass and satisfy myself by listening attentively as my BattlePlay compatriots describe their exploits.
My Take: If I told my wife that I spent $60 for Catherine, she would probably punch me in the face, before running me over with the car.
Kevin’s Take: I want to play this thing for two reasons: 1. it is so weird it has to have some redeeming qualities. 2. I am sure there will be nudity.
Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/26/2011
Price: $59.99
My Take: Metatron’s like, a Transformer, right?
Kevin’s Take: Ambitious game and based on the New Testament. Based on the screens and the demo this could be fun. I’ll keep my eye on it.
So, Who Should Get Your Money?
July’s for cook outs and outdoor activities — at least that’s what my mom would tell me growing up. And, the games being released this month are definitely a reflection of that. July is not for gaming.
Unless you’re a huge college football fan, or in need of some dirty anime interaction, none of July’s releases deserve your hard earned money. So, this week’s recommendation should only be followed if an actual UFC fighter is threatening you to pick one of these games. You’re best off appeasing him and going with UFC Trainer. It’s $20 cheaper than most of the games and you might even shed a few pounds. Plus, you’ll look much cooler buying it than Smurfs Dance Party.
What would you spend your money on this month? Let us know which July release has your interest sparked.
