Mike Foster

Aug 022011
 

As we start our exit from the soul crushing heat that accompanies the summer months, we also start the ascension out of shitty summer game releases. As shown in last month’s Rundown, July was a disaster, a real train wreck with respect to new games. But, with August comes hope. A handful of B-level games are slotted to release this month, and most of them seem to have the potential to provide a fun experience. I wouldn’t consider August’s lineup impressive. But it is a nice opening act for what’s to come in September, October and November.

With that, let’s take a look at what’s on the way to stores near you.

Phineas and Ferb: Across the Second Dimension


Systems: PS3, Wii
Release Date: 8/2/2011
Price: $39.99

My Take: I want this game, it’s as simple as that. I love the show, my two year old and I watch it every weekend over breakfast. That alone wouldn’t be enough to make me want the game. The fact that it’s being developed by ex-Ratchet and Clank developers gives me high hopes.


Bleach: Soul Resurreccion


Systems: PS3
Release Date: 8/2/2011
Price: $59.99

My Take: Bleach, the anime series, has been buried in my Netflix instant queue for quite some time now. I should probably start with watching that first.

Kevin’s Take: I use to watch this anime, but I doubt there is any game play in it. If I were to guess it is just an anime tie in that will rehash the story for your hard earned money.

Charles’s Take: Okay – being a big Bleach watcher, I dug a little bit into this. Gameplay looks a lot like a Dragonball game with lots of dashing around and button mashing. I agree with the video trailer commenter who observed that the game strategy aspect is a lot like Dynasty Warriors but faster-paced in my opinion.

Looks to be rich with characters and character evolutions so that will make the fans happy, although any slightest omission of a character, evolution or outfit will throw some devotees into a frenzy.

In the US trailers the characters have English voices. I hope Japanese voices can be selected.
I’m a Bleach fan but wouldn’t buy it at the retail price – maybe in a few years when it’s in the used games pile.

Disappointing that this is a PS3 only game. Anime lovers play XBOX too you know!


Deus Ex Human Revolution

Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 8/23/2011
Price: $59.99

My Take: For no particular reason, other than it was never on my radar, I’ve never played any of the past Deus Ex games. So, I can’t speak from first hand experience on the overall quality of the series. But the consensus on Metacritic seems to be that the series has always delivered quality. And the latest looks pretty good too. Splinter Cell-esque, interesting universe, probably everything fans of the series want.

Charles’s Take: Very sexy trailer

  • Protagonist is a grownup verion of Fullmetal Alchemist
  • Narrator sounds like Charlie Sheen
  • If the game mechanics support all of the fighting options shown in the trailer, will be interesting to see how well they balance the game controls so it’s neither a one-button push for everything nor something that requires six fingers on each hand and two controllers to execute

Kevin’s Take: I have been watching all the press about this game and it seems it has everything: stealth, combat, and story. I am really looking forward to this.


Bodycount

Systems: Xbox 360, PS3
Release Date: 9/30/2011
Price: $59.99

Kevin’s Take: No idea what this is but let me guess it is a first person shooter.

My Take: This game looks as superficial as it sounds. There’s a lot of explosions, a lot of bullets flying, but that appears to be all it offers. No unique mechanics, or powers were showcased in any of the trailers I found. Just shoot and hope you don’t get shot. Unfortunately for Bodycount, there’s plenty of triple A titles that bring that experience.


Madden NFL 12


Systems: X360, PS3, Wii
Release Date: 8/30/2011
Price: $59.99 ($49.99 on the Wii)

Charles’s Take: Hope it’s not just a “lather, rinse, repeat” of previous titles with updated rosters. A “players strike” minigame would add some more value to the 60 bucks retail price.

My Take: I’m not sure how the NFL lockout affected most of you, if at all, but it definitely fucked with my brain to the point that I might just pick up a copy of Madden this year. It’s been 5 years since I last purchased the annual money-making giant, but the fact that there might not have been football this fall left me looking for other avenues. Now that the lockout’s over I hope my impulse to buy Madden will subside. It might just be too late.


Tropico 4


Systems: Xbox 360
Release Date: 8/30/2011
Price: $49.99

Charles’s Take: Wow – this franchise has a 4th edition? I wonder if their using a bigger island now – like maybe North America?

My Take: Tropico 4 looks really good. So didn’t Tropico 3, for that matter. Unfortunately this type of game will always be fighting an uphill battle on the consoles. Hopefully Tropico 4 can bring some slick interface refinements to the console version, but I’m not holding my breath.


Air Conflicts: Secret Wars

Systems: X360, PS3, Wii
Release Date: 8/30/2011
Price: $39.99

My Take: From watching the gameplay trailer for Secret Wars I could tell that playing it would result in me expelling the contents of my stomach. Lots of barrel rolls… I can already feel my salivary glands kicking in.

Steve’s Take: Being a big air sim fan I have been watching this one. What got me concerned initially was the title itself, it sounded like they were trying to play off the fame of the legendary “Secret Weapons of the Luftwaffe”. All of my concerns are being realized as more information on this title is released. I recommend you perform a gamer “Immelmann” and do your best to evade this title.


So, Who Should Get Your Money?

This month’s suggestion doesn’t accurately reflect my own intentions. But, my own intentions don’t best serve the greater good. I understand that Phineas and Ferb is probably not for most, but it is for me — pending a half-way decent review.

This month’s recommendation comes down to track record. The Deus Ex franchise has been solid and consistent over the years. And, Human Revolution looks like it will continue that trend. The setting looks amazing, the gameplay mechanics look impressive; it’s a solid B-level game that’s trying to be unique and provide the player with something engaging and new. For that alone it deserves your time. It deserves your money… unless it gets trashed by the reviewers, then you never read this.

With that, I leave you until next month where the featured acts finally take the stage. Let us know how you would spend your money on the August releases, if at all.

Jul 082011
 

There are quite a few games that are released each month. A huge percentage of those games will never know what it feels like inside any of my consoles. They’ll never experience the clunky tray of my Xbox 360 or the magical slide in of the PS3. They’ll never have me waiving wildly at them with my Wii-mote. The simple fact is that my systems only exist for the super elite titles. You see, I don’t have time for the mediocre or niche. I don’t have time to take a chance on a little known import from Japan. I spend the small amount of gaming time I have on the ones that others have defined as: the best of the best. Hopefully this will change some day, but that day’s not today.

My limited gaming time, however, doesn’t keep me from forming opinions on the games that are released each week. And now I’ve created a vessel to share my unsubstantiated take on the monthly releases with you. You’re welcome.

At the beginning of each month I’m going to give you the “Rundown” of what’s coming to the three major consoles. I’ll supply you with the simple facts for each — which are easily found on any retailer’s site — as well as uninformed opinions from me and the other BattlePlay contributors. The article will then wrap with my recommendation for where to spend your money that month, which in most cases will be based on nothing more than my highly developed gaming instincts.

With that said, let’s get on with it. First up…

NCAA Football 2012 by Electronic Arts


Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $59.99

My Take: My interest in football games fizzled out about 5 years ago. There’s a little spark for the experience in me this year, but not for this one.

Steve’s Take: I haven’t checked out what new features EA has added to the franchise for 2012. I honestly don’t know what they even *could* add at this point. Maybe a cheerleader uniform design feature would be good. Are you reading this EA?

Kevin’s Take: I just don’t understand why games like this get to generate so much money if the changes are mainly statistics. Don’t listen to me I suppose, I hate sports and sports games alike.


Wicked Monster Blast! by Interworks Unlimited


Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $34.99

Steve’s Take: I have no clue what this one’s about…and I have kids too. I asked them! Seriously! “Have you heard of this?” Response: “Nope”.

My Take: There’s a sense of insecurity when the title of a video game has an exclamation point. “Blast” just wasn’t enough to express how exciting the publisher hopes you’ll think this game is when you discover it at the bottom of a bargain bin in three months.


Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2 by Electronic Arts


Systems: X360, PS3, Wii
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $49.99

Kevin’s Take: (and Captain America: Super Soldier too) Since these are based on movies, these will be horrible. They should pass them out for skeet shooting instead of clay pigeons.

Steve’s Take: I tried an HP game once…Harry Potter Quidditch World Cup for Xbox. Let’s just say it’s somewhere in the room of requirement.


UFC Personal Trainer by THQ


Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $39.99

Charles’s Take: Saw a quick segment watching E3 coverage on TV. This *does not* turn you into an ultimate fighter. It’s a bunch of exercises modeled after the way UFC fighters train – but with no resistance. You punch and kick the air. IMHO you’d be better off getting a good rigorous workout video, or if you really want to workout with the XBOX 360, get Dance Central instead.

My Take: This game has peeked my interest. Not for the Wii though, definitely not. And, I don’t own Kinect or Move, so I guess I’m going to pass…

Steve’s Take: A very tough workout in a sports genre I am bored stiff by….NEXT!


Captain America: Super Soldier by Sega


Systems: X360, PS3, Wii
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $49.99 (Wii: $39.99)

My Take: Captain America looks to extend the long standing tradition of shitty movie based games. Good luck on living up to such lofty expectations, Captain.

Steve’s Take: My method of buying superhero based games is to wait until someone I explicitly trusts tells me it’s worth it. That often means me buying the titles over a year after release. It’s OK, I will wait that long to save myself from bitter disappointment.


Call of Juarez The Cartel


Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $59.99

Kevin’s Take: I have never heard of this game, I looked it up and apparently this is the third version of the game. Someone missed the mark on marketing or this game is horrible.

Steve’s and My Takes: Yeah… what Kevin said.


Smurfs Dance Party by Ubisoft


Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $29.99

My Take: Wow. Freaking smurf, Ubisoft… Freaking smurf.

Charles’s Take: Please do not encourage Ubisoft to make more games like this.

Steve’s Take: Hmmm….this really scares me…


Just Dance Summer Party by Ubisoft


Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $29.99

My Take: Meh. Just a a reskin of Ubisoft’s soon to be classic, Smurfs Dance Party…

Steve’s Take: Just Dance was a good title. My daughter and her friends can really work it. After they are done burning up the place they make me dance to “Crazy in Love” and laugh their heads off. So, given the overall family enjoyment this could be a contender for shelf space.


Catherine by Atlus


Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/26/2011
Price: $59.99

Steve’s Take: This game looks really provocative, and I mean that in a sincere way. The main problem I have is how to duck my wife while playing it…and the possible consequences of her walking in while Catherine or Katherine is in a compromising position. Cost/benefit analysis results: At the cost of my life I’d say I have to pass and satisfy myself by listening attentively as my BattlePlay compatriots describe their exploits.

My Take: If I told my wife that I spent $60 for Catherine, she would probably punch me in the face, before running me over with the car.

Kevin’s Take: I want to play this thing for two reasons: 1. it is so weird it has to have some redeeming qualities. 2. I am sure there will be nudity.


El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron by Ignition Entertainment


Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/26/2011
Price: $59.99

My Take: Metatron’s like, a Transformer, right?

Kevin’s Take: Ambitious game and based on the New Testament. Based on the screens and the demo this could be fun. I’ll keep my eye on it.


So, Who Should Get Your Money?

July’s for cook outs and outdoor activities — at least that’s what my mom would tell me growing up. And, the games being released this month are definitely a reflection of that. July is not for gaming.

Unless you’re a huge college football fan, or in need of some dirty anime interaction, none of July’s releases deserve your hard earned money. So, this week’s recommendation should only be followed if an actual UFC fighter is threatening you to pick one of these games. You’re best off appeasing him and going with UFC Trainer. It’s $20 cheaper than most of the games and you might even shed a few pounds. Plus, you’ll look much cooler buying it than Smurfs Dance Party.

What would you spend your money on this month? Let us know which July release has your interest sparked.

Jun 252011
 

Of course I would have trouble writing a post about Duke Nukem Forever. It’s unavoidable. The universe has decided that not only will the game be cursed for all eternity, any entity that spawns from the fact that the game exists will also fall on hardship. My ability to provide riveting commentary is no exception, it would seem. I’ve been trying to come up with this post since the day Gearbox and 2K announced that they had dug up DNF’s mangled carcass and were in the process of hooking the electrodes to its brain. They were bringing it back to life. And they were going to ship it, for realz this time.

Ever since that news came out I’ve been searching for the words to express my excitement for Duke Nukem Forever’s latest opportunity at reaching the store shelves. Nothing worked. Nothing! I tried to take the pure, over-the-top fanboy route — just gush fanboy goo all over BattlePlay about Duke and his new found developers. Here’s a brief segment to give you an idea of where it was going:

Oh my god! Oh my god! YES! Duke’s in the hands of Gearbox. This should be AWESOME! Where can I pre-order?

And it went on like that for another four to five hundred words — not exactly what I was looking for.

Then I tried to provide a glimpse into my nostalgia laced past, a past where Duke 3D was stashed away in a “c:/windows/temp” directory on almost every single computer in my high-school’s computer labs. Countless hours were spent on the school’s LAN trying to catch one of my friends right between the eyes with a rocket-propelled grenade:

… and that’s where I learned the power of keyboard shortcuts … as we’d whisper through our teeth to each other, “teacher! teacher! ALT TAB! ALT TAB!”

That one didn’t pan out either for some reason. I kept persisting, though. I even went the other direction once it was clear that not only was Duke Nukem Forever not going to meet the decades-plus worth of expectations I had stored away, it was actually a huge, steaming pile of shit:

I’ve never been so hyped for a game that ended up getting a 3.0 on Gamespot. How is that possible? You have to be trying extremely hard to get a 3.0 on Gamespot…

Again, it was just more generic reactionary comments that I’m sure everyone expressed 47,000 times over the last few weeks. So I squished it, and at least a half dozen other attempts. It would seem that it was just not a post that I was meant to write. And, maybe that’s OK. I’m not here to waste people’s time with a post I don’t believe is good. Sometimes the successful post is the one that you don’t write. Sometimes the successful project is the one that you just let die.

By the way, I will never play Duke Nukem Forever. Never. I’m not even sure I will pick up the next Duke branded title, even with Gearbox and 2K starting from scratch. And it’s not because I don’t think they could do a great job with it, not in the least. It’s more just comes down to the fact that they did the fans of Duke wrong — especially the ones that pre-ordered or picked up the game on day one (to the rest of you that are still buying it: that’s on you, dummy). They didn’t know the buzz saw of shitiness they were walking into. And that sucks. It’s a shitty move 2K, Gearbox — a real shitty move.