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The Third Screen

Jul 092011

According to the Bartle Test, my primary gamer style is “Achiever.” One way this manifests itself is my never-ending pursuit of XBOX Live achievements. Trouble is, when I’m in the middle of the game, I have to stop and back out to my dashboard to see what achievements are available for the game and which are relevant to the current scenario/level/mode I’m playing in. This is a pain and takes me out of the flow of the game.

Thankfully, there is a cure. A number of generous developers have provided free mobile apps that provide me with a “third screen” so I can look up who’s online, what they’re playing, what achievements are available in the game I’m playing right now, and what tips or moves can help me achieve. All of this without exiting the game.

360 Live (iOS, Android) shows you achievement point totals for you and your friends, what your friends have recently been playing and who’s online. For each friend, you can get a complete list of their games and individual achievements and send them a message.

The XBOX Achievement Guide (iOS, Android) gives you info for all of the achievements – even the secret ones – for any XBOX retail or arcade game title. As of this writing, you won’t find the most recently published games listed, so it wouldn’t hurt for you to drop them a line and convince them to put out an update.

In my wallet I still carry a Mortal Kombat arcade game special moves cheatsheet from the 1990’s. Now that we have electricity, running water, and mobile phones, 2Dmoveset.com’s Super Street Fighter IV Moveset app (iOS) gives me a fighting chance by providing digital instructions to access any character’s special moves and combos.

Finally, when you need more info for an achievement, like which maps are in the Dark Corners expansion pack for Gears of War 2, searching on your mobile browser will get you to the right place before the next match starts.

Now get out there and achieve!

Console Release Rundown: July ’11

Video Games No Responses »

Jul 082011

There are quite a few games that are released each month. A huge percentage of those games will never know what it feels like inside any of my consoles. They’ll never experience the clunky tray of my Xbox 360 or the magical slide in of the PS3. They’ll never have me waiving wildly at them with my Wii-mote. The simple fact is that my systems only exist for the super elite titles. You see, I don’t have time for the mediocre or niche. I don’t have time to take a chance on a little known import from Japan. I spend the small amount of gaming time I have on the ones that others have defined as: the best of the best. Hopefully this will change some day, but that day’s not today.

My limited gaming time, however, doesn’t keep me from forming opinions on the games that are released each week. And now I’ve created a vessel to share my unsubstantiated take on the monthly releases with you. You’re welcome.

At the beginning of each month I’m going to give you the “Rundown” of what’s coming to the three major consoles. I’ll supply you with the simple facts for each — which are easily found on any retailer’s site — as well as uninformed opinions from me and the other BattlePlay contributors. The article will then wrap with my recommendation for where to spend your money that month, which in most cases will be based on nothing more than my highly developed gaming instincts.

With that said, let’s get on with it. First up…

NCAA Football 2012 by Electronic Arts

Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $59.99

My Take: My interest in football games fizzled out about 5 years ago. There’s a little spark for the experience in me this year, but not for this one.

Steve’s Take: I haven’t checked out what new features EA has added to the franchise for 2012. I honestly don’t know what they even *could* add at this point. Maybe a cheerleader uniform design feature would be good. Are you reading this EA?

Kevin’s Take: I just don’t understand why games like this get to generate so much money if the changes are mainly statistics. Don’t listen to me I suppose, I hate sports and sports games alike.

Wicked Monster Blast! by Interworks Unlimited

Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $34.99

Steve’s Take: I have no clue what this one’s about…and I have kids too. I asked them! Seriously! “Have you heard of this?” Response: “Nope”.

My Take: There’s a sense of insecurity when the title of a video game has an exclamation point. “Blast” just wasn’t enough to express how exciting the publisher hopes you’ll think this game is when you discover it at the bottom of a bargain bin in three months.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2 by Electronic Arts

Systems: X360, PS3, Wii
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $49.99

Kevin’s Take: (and Captain America: Super Soldier too) Since these are based on movies, these will be horrible. They should pass them out for skeet shooting instead of clay pigeons.

Steve’s Take: I tried an HP game once…Harry Potter Quidditch World Cup for Xbox. Let’s just say it’s somewhere in the room of requirement.

UFC Personal Trainer by THQ

Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/12/2011
Price: $39.99

Charles’s Take: Saw a quick segment watching E3 coverage on TV. This *does not* turn you into an ultimate fighter. It’s a bunch of exercises modeled after the way UFC fighters train – but with no resistance. You punch and kick the air. IMHO you’d be better off getting a good rigorous workout video, or if you really want to workout with the XBOX 360, get Dance Central instead.

My Take: This game has peeked my interest. Not for the Wii though, definitely not. And, I don’t own Kinect or Move, so I guess I’m going to pass…

Steve’s Take: A very tough workout in a sports genre I am bored stiff by….NEXT!

Captain America: Super Soldier by Sega

Systems: X360, PS3, Wii
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $49.99 (Wii: $39.99)

My Take: Captain America looks to extend the long standing tradition of shitty movie based games. Good luck on living up to such lofty expectations, Captain.

Steve’s Take: My method of buying superhero based games is to wait until someone I explicitly trusts tells me it’s worth it. That often means me buying the titles over a year after release. It’s OK, I will wait that long to save myself from bitter disappointment.

Call of Juarez The Cartel

Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $59.99

Kevin’s Take: I have never heard of this game, I looked it up and apparently this is the third version of the game. Someone missed the mark on marketing or this game is horrible.

Steve’s and My Takes: Yeah… what Kevin said.

Smurfs Dance Party by Ubisoft

Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $29.99

My Take: Wow. Freaking smurf, Ubisoft… Freaking smurf.

Charles’s Take: Please do not encourage Ubisoft to make more games like this.

Steve’s Take: Hmmm….this really scares me…

Just Dance Summer Party by Ubisoft

Systems: Wii
Release Date: 7/19/2011
Price: $29.99

My Take: Meh. Just a a reskin of Ubisoft’s soon to be classic, Smurfs Dance Party…

Steve’s Take: Just Dance was a good title. My daughter and her friends can really work it. After they are done burning up the place they make me dance to “Crazy in Love” and laugh their heads off. So, given the overall family enjoyment this could be a contender for shelf space.

Catherine by Atlus

Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/26/2011
Price: $59.99

Steve’s Take: This game looks really provocative, and I mean that in a sincere way. The main problem I have is how to duck my wife while playing it…and the possible consequences of her walking in while Catherine or Katherine is in a compromising position. Cost/benefit analysis results: At the cost of my life I’d say I have to pass and satisfy myself by listening attentively as my BattlePlay compatriots describe their exploits.

My Take: If I told my wife that I spent $60 for Catherine, she would probably punch me in the face, before running me over with the car.

Kevin’s Take: I want to play this thing for two reasons: 1. it is so weird it has to have some redeeming qualities. 2. I am sure there will be nudity.

El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron by Ignition Entertainment

Systems: X360, PS3
Release Date: 7/26/2011
Price: $59.99

My Take: Metatron’s like, a Transformer, right?

Kevin’s Take: Ambitious game and based on the New Testament. Based on the screens and the demo this could be fun. I’ll keep my eye on it.

So, Who Should Get Your Money?

July’s for cook outs and outdoor activities — at least that’s what my mom would tell me growing up. And, the games being released this month are definitely a reflection of that. July is not for gaming.

Unless you’re a huge college football fan, or in need of some dirty anime interaction, none of July’s releases deserve your hard earned money. So, this week’s recommendation should only be followed if an actual UFC fighter is threatening you to pick one of these games. You’re best off appeasing him and going with UFC Trainer. It’s $20 cheaper than most of the games and you might even shed a few pounds. Plus, you’ll look much cooler buying it than Smurfs Dance Party.

What would you spend your money on this month? Let us know which July release has your interest sparked.

Your Face. Your Ass. What’s the Difference?

Video Games No Responses »

Jun 252011

Of course I would have trouble writing a post about Duke Nukem Forever. It’s unavoidable. The universe has decided that not only will the game be cursed for all eternity, any entity that spawns from the fact that the game exists will also fall on hardship. My ability to provide riveting commentary is no exception, it would seem. I’ve been trying to come up with this post since the day Gearbox and 2K announced that they had dug up DNF’s mangled carcass and were in the process of hooking the electrodes to its brain. They were bringing it back to life. And they were going to ship it, for realz this time.

Ever since that news came out I’ve been searching for the words to express my excitement for Duke Nukem Forever’s latest opportunity at reaching the store shelves. Nothing worked. Nothing! I tried to take the pure, over-the-top fanboy route — just gush fanboy goo all over BattlePlay about Duke and his new found developers. Here’s a brief segment to give you an idea of where it was going:

Oh my god! Oh my god! YES! Duke’s in the hands of Gearbox. This should be AWESOME! Where can I pre-order?

And it went on like that for another four to five hundred words — not exactly what I was looking for.

Then I tried to provide a glimpse into my nostalgia laced past, a past where Duke 3D was stashed away in a “c:/windows/temp” directory on almost every single computer in my high-school’s computer labs. Countless hours were spent on the school’s LAN trying to catch one of my friends right between the eyes with a rocket-propelled grenade:

… and that’s where I learned the power of keyboard shortcuts … as we’d whisper through our teeth to each other, “teacher! teacher! ALT TAB! ALT TAB!”

That one didn’t pan out either for some reason. I kept persisting, though. I even went the other direction once it was clear that not only was Duke Nukem Forever not going to meet the decades-plus worth of expectations I had stored away, it was actually a huge, steaming pile of shit:

I’ve never been so hyped for a game that ended up getting a 3.0 on Gamespot. How is that possible? You have to be trying extremely hard to get a 3.0 on Gamespot…

Again, it was just more generic reactionary comments that I’m sure everyone expressed 47,000 times over the last few weeks. So I squished it, and at least a half dozen other attempts. It would seem that it was just not a post that I was meant to write. And, maybe that’s OK. I’m not here to waste people’s time with a post I don’t believe is good. Sometimes the successful post is the one that you don’t write. Sometimes the successful project is the one that you just let die.

By the way, I will never play Duke Nukem Forever. Never. I’m not even sure I will pick up the next Duke branded title, even with Gearbox and 2K starting from scratch. And it’s not because I don’t think they could do a great job with it, not in the least. It’s more just comes down to the fact that they did the fans of Duke wrong — especially the ones that pre-ordered or picked up the game on day one (to the rest of you that are still buying it: that’s on you, dummy). They didn’t know the buzz saw of shitiness they were walking into. And that sucks. It’s a shitty move 2K, Gearbox — a real shitty move.

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